beyondpanic's diary

beyondpanic's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Frozen Dinner

I’ve officially started my 2007 Christmas experience. I will continue to enumerate these as the holiday progresses and will attempt to do one thing “Christmassy” every day.

#1. I’ve had several Chai teas from Starbucks in the red cups.

#2. Last night, I took my two kids and their respective girlfriend and boyfriend to see a new Christmas movie – “Fred Klaus”. The movie was pretty good – typical Vince Vaughan shtick – but that was OK. It had the required Santa Clause, elves wearing pointy shoes, reindeer and sleds, presents, twinkle lights, Christmas trees and snowmen that help me get in the Christmas spirit.

I have to do this Christmas thing s-l-o-w-l-y, just in case the effexor bombs out and I start to freak out!

My mom has been so involved with my Dad that she forgot (WARNING!!! ALL VEGETERIANS MUST COVER THEIR EARS NOW!!!!) to order the “fresh killed” turkey from the Farmers’ Market. Every year my Mom announces that she ordered the “biggest fresh killed” turkey they had. She always picks it up on Wednesday to make sure it is at its peak of freshness.

When you think about it, it’s really scary knowing that some big ol’ bird is walking around his home all fat, dumb and happy and the farmer runs up to him on Tuesday night with a hatchet in his hand and screams, “Come ‘ere you big old turkey, the Du***ys need some bloody, warm, meat!!!

So, when I asked my mom about the order, she let out a scream and said, “Oh my God, Joanie, I forgot to order the turkey!!! I told her that was OK and that I would just get one from the Acme. She was horrified, but realized there was nothing we could do at this point because the Farmers’ Market would not be open again until Wednesday. She agreed to the frozen turkey but told me about 25 times to “make sure you get a Butterball – they’re the best!”

I bought a frozen 23 lb. turkey – it was the biggest one I could find, but it wasn’t still running when I found it! God only knows when it was killed.

…and for the love of God, don’t tell my Mom it wasn’t a Butterball. I don’t think she can stand too much more disappointment.


10:07 p.m. - November 19, 2007
2 comments




------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry




other diaries:

oldgreypoet
boobsinjuriesan
hereinthehills
requiel
imagineomit
fridayplaydate
kitchenlogic
andanotherthing
knuckleheadconv
catsoul
wifemotherme
la-the-sage
chaosdaily
poolagirl
yaketyyak
yankeechick
bitchypoo