beyondpanic's diary

beyondpanic's Diaryland Diary


Driving Miss Daisy

I have a stalker. This stalker called my home and my cell phone and my children’s cell phones 14 times yesterday…and no, I am not exaggerating. On Sunday, the stalker called my husband’s phone 5 times, my phone 4 times, my daughter’s phone twice, my son’s phone twice and my house phone 3 times.

No, it’s not an old lover who refuses to cut the ties. It’s not a new admirer who spotted me across the Acme and decided he had to have me.

It’s my 75 year old mother.

My father is no longer able to drive and my mother never learned how to drive. On my 16th birthday, I was given a car – not for my own use, because along with the car came my mother. I had to drive her back and forth to work every day – I cannot begin to tell you how many high school detentions I served because my mother was always “running late”.

Every Saturday, I took her to the Farmer’s Market and the Acme, and every Sunday, I drove her to Mass and then to the Laundromat. My weekends were her weekends - no picnics with my boyfriend, no shopping with the girls…that is until my younger brother turned 16 and then Mom was “awarded” to him.

I drove her to the drugstore, her family doctor, her foot doctor, her OB-GYN, her dentist and her periodontist. I carted her to her favorite stores: Strawbridge’s, Weinberg’s, Sears and the thrift shop.

At one time I even worked at the same mental hospital where she worked and once again, I arrived late to work more often than I arrived on time.

So, now my Dad can’t drive, and Mom is mine again. Thank God, for my kids, I really don’t know what the hell I would do without them. My mom continues to work part time. So three or four days a week, I use my entire fuckin’ lunch break to pick up my Mom and drive her across the street from her apartment building (about 1/16th of a mile) to her job. I then fly back to work like a speed demon to get back in time.

…and so back to yesterday. She called 14 'fuckin' times to find out who was taking her to work and who was bringing her home. I myself received 7 phone calls on my work number, my cell phone and at home. She also called me twice last night to find out how she was going to get to work today. Of course, I had to say that I would take her, despite the fact that some of the girls at work were planning to take my boss out for his 40th birthday party – so now I won’t be attending that.

She harasses my family all weekend to take her to the bank, the drugstore and the Acme. I have asked my sisters to, at the least, help out on the weekends, but that has not worked out at all. My mother actually told me that because I live closer, it is easier for my family to help her and that she doesn’t want to bother my sisters or her other grandchildren.

I think what hurts the most of all of this is that my mother never calls just to ask how I’m doing – she only calls for a ride. Then, to add insult to injury, on Monday when I took her to work, she told me that I should have worn a black bra with the dress that I wore to my niece’s wedding – I would have looked nicer.

I had a complete breakdown last night – I must have cried for an hour. I am just so exhausted with her demands and the lack of help from my sisters. I ended up taking Xanax to fall asleep asleep, so I’m really out of it this morning.

My spirit is broken…

14:09 - 2008-05-02


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