beyondpanic's diary

beyondpanic's Diaryland Diary


Hit the Fan

On Friday, the SHIOT hit the fan.

My daughter took my mother to work, but my mom was furious that L.J. wouldn’t take her to the bank also. When my daughter told her that she had to go back to school (she was between classes at college) my mother asked her why she couldn’t be a little late for class.

At 4:30 she started calling around to find out who was bringing her home. She called my cell phone 3 times and my work phone once. She called each of my kids twice. I was helping to clean up my boss’s birthday party, so I was away from my desk for awhile and so I hadn’t received any of these calls. I finally left work at 5:10 and my phone rang while I was getting into the car.

Again it was my mother (4th phone call). “Joanie, didn’t you get all of my calls?! I need a ride home!”

I was tired and was eager to get home because my husband was going camping for the weekend and I needed to talk to him before he left. But, I knew my mother had no other way home, so I went to pick her up. As she got in the car, she said, “Now, Joanie, I need to go to the bank and to the Swiss Farms”.

I lost it – I almost started to cry, especially since the F*CKIN’ day before I had taken her to the drugstore after work which is RIGHT F*CKIN’ next to the Swiss Farm store and I had asked her if she needed anything and she told me no.

Now remember, I drive a Durango – it costs me about 80.00 to fill my tank, so I try to limit my driving. My mother is totally unconcerned with that, so I ended up driving UP the pike to take her to the bank, then I drove back DOWN the pike and took her to Swiss Farms, then I drove her back UP the Pike to take her home.

I tried to talk to her, but she refused to answer me. I told her that I resented the fact that she only called me when she needed a ride – that she didn’t even bother calling me to tell me that my father’s surgery had been rescheduled. I told her that I cannot be a part of her Obsessive Compulsive behavior – that calling my family over and over and over is abusive and that it is affecting my mental health tremendously. I told her that I loved her but that I would not be taking her back and forth to work anymore – that she would have to find a ride. At that point she did tell me that she didn’t want to inconvenience anyone at work by asking them to drive her back and forth every day.

Hmmmm, let me think about this. It’s OK for me to drive like a bat out of hell to get her to work on my lunch break, or make my daughter feel guilty about not being able to take her grandmother to the bank, but it’s not OK to ask someone to just drive across the street to get her. Something about that just doesn’t sound right.

…just an aside, she had already told my daughter that LJ could drive her back and forth to work EVERY day, once college lets out. When my daughter told her that she was going to school all summer, my mother was pissed and actually asked me why LJ had to go to “summer school”? Did she flunk something?

Yeah, mom, thanks for the encouragement.

She was hurt – I was hurt. Nobody “won”…and now I’m sure that I am considered the “inconsiderate” daughter.

I’m going to the psychiatrist tonight – maybe new meds will help me…but they won’t drive my mom back and forth to work and they sure as hell won’t help with her OCD.

10:48 - 2008-05-05


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