beyondpanic's diary

beyondpanic's Diaryland Diary


Patriotic and Politically Incorrect

Still no laptop and Andrew refuses to post any of my emails that I try to post, so I’ll be posting the old fashioned way. I’ll write during the day – then email the whole thing to myself, then open it when I get home and post it to my account. Very tedious, but it will get the job done.

I had a great 4th of July holiday! We woke up around 9:45 for the parade that starts at 10:00! OOPS! We ran around, gathered our beach chairs and drove up to the Pike to watch the festivities. My daughter was riding in the parade in a convertible with her girlfriend – they were driving one of the local magistrates. The night before they had made matching red t-shirts with the words “Liberty Belles” ironed on to the front. They looked cute…and they threw lots of candy to everyone around us.

One woman in the crowd kept running out barefoot into the street between floats and marchers to pick up any stray candy. At one point she even held up her hand to stop a fire truck from rolling forward, just so she could snatch a cherry Tootsie Pop out from under its wheel. I was fascinated by her because she weighed close to 300 lbs. and every time she bent over to clutch at the loose candy, her shorts rode up to expose extremely large dimply thighs. Now girlfriends, I haven’t bent over in public for the last 10 years due to my questionable thighs so I’m going to get ugly and politically incorrect right now.

I wanted to shout to her:

“Christ, lady, get the fu@k out of the middle of the street with your big fat self!! You’re giving all of us fat girls a bad name!!!! Aren’t you embarrassed that we see you clutching at the tootsie rolls and butterscotch drops like that’s going to be the last meal you’ll ever eat? Sure, I’m fat, but I sure as hell don’t shove it in anyone’s face…and shorts! Shorts in public – No! Shorts are for in the house or in the back yard when you are gardening, not out on the Pike where everyone can see them riding up with every step you take. And put some damn shoes on, you’re on a major highway, not in your bedroom !!!!!”

….There, I feel better now.

After the parade, we used our truck to help one of the Diner Babes pick up some furniture from Home Goods and then we had a lovely cook-out with my neighbors. We ate dinner at their home, and once it began to rain, we ran over to our house to sit on our screened-in porch. We had some beers and watched the neighborhood fireworks and laughed and laughed. It was a great get-together!

What else, what else?

My husband spent all Saturday working on my girlfriend’s property clearing shrubs, cutting tree limbs, raking leaves, etc. It is just way too much work for her and it was his idea to help her. Meanwhile, several of the Diner Babes went out for breakfast and some shopping at Home Goods. When we arrived back at her home, she was absolutely overwhelmed by all of the work he had done for her.

Inspired by my husband’s hard work, I went to Home Depot and purchased more perennials to plant in my gardens. I uncovered a snake skin and was very proud of the fact that I didn’t scream!

Yesterday, I drug my husband to the nearest Wal-Mart. I just LOVE Wal-mart and we have to drive a little distance to get to one. We spent close to $100.00 on t-shirts, socks underwear for both him and me, spiral bound notebooks (5 cents a piece!!),loose leaf, 4 legal tablets, wheat thins, strawberry marshmallows and massage oil that {{{tingles}}}.heeheehee

6:07 p.m. - Monday, Jul. 07, 2008


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