beyondpanic's diary

beyondpanic's Diaryland Diary

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Cooler Temps

I havenít posted for awhile Ė nothing much has been going on Ė summer is finally ending and wonderful Autumn is right around the corner.

Iím looking forward to the cooler temps and the leaves and the mums and the pumpkins, of course!

The euphoria from seeing my granddaughter has passed and Iím feeling so much anger towards the Sea Hag and my son. Where the hell is his freakiní family loyalty to us Ė his family in PA? Is it possible that he can just dump all of his feelings for us? Of course the Sea Hag has not written any thank you cards to us or my mom. As far as I know, she could have tossed all of the gifts in the trash after we walked out the front door.

Iíve decided that I really want to focus my next few therapy sessions on how I can control my panic attacks. Thatís what I originally went to him for and I still donít have the confidence that I can STOP a panic attack when it happens. I still want a dog, but until I learn how to stop the panic, I wonít even attempt it.

I scheduled a get-away weekend in November for my husband and I to celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary. Weíll be staying in the ďLand of Love and sitting in one of these big ass tubs. Hahahahahahahaha. I told my husband, ďFor the love of God, donít walk underneath the tub when Iím in it!ĒHahahahahahahahahaha


Although, last night my daughter and I watched that show "How to Look Good Naked". It's all about being comfortable with the body that I have at this moment in time. Not living my life in the past when I was built like a brick shit house or putting my life on hold until I lose the 40 or so lbs. that I need to lose. The show made me feel good about the way I look right now.

9:46 p.m. - Wednesday, Sept. 17, 2008
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