beyondpanic's diary

beyondpanic's Diaryland Diary


Make Her an Offer She Can't Refuse

The lady from the shelter called tonight while I was out and left this message :

Joan, this is P.M. from the shelter. You will call me back at 610-555-5555.Ē

Not, can you call me back. No Ė she said, ďyou will call me backĒ.

How does she know Iíll call her back? Am I going to wake up and find a huge dead catís head in my bed as a warning?

Is she going to leap up behind me when I get in the car tomorrow morning and strangle me with catgut??????(which by the way is cord prepared from the intestines of sheep or goat, not cats, but I had to use it to go with the theme and because itís funny.)

What the hell does she want?? I told her I wanted to wait until after the holidays, but something tells me that she ainít taking no for an answer. Is she going to make me an offer I canít refuse???

Iíll call her tomorrow and let you know.

It is 10:30 and my kids just left the house to go stand in some damn line for the new Batman movie with Heath Ledger. Those two really break me up Ė they do everything together.

Today my dentist told me that I am going to have to go to a periodontist to have some skin shaved back so that my new crown will fit properly. OOOOOOWWWWWW!!

Iím making my husband address the envelopes to my son for his 30th birthday and for his Christmas card and SweePeaís card. Maybe the Sea Hag wonít have the balls to tamper with the US mail, but I doubt it. Iím sure she sees my handwriting and tears up the cards!

Iím lying in bed on my back with my laptop propped up against my knees. I started almost sitting straight up, but have now slid down almost horizontally. It is difficult to type this way, so I think Iím just going to post this and go to bed.

But, before I do....

Have you seen this ad for the Snuggies? If I walked into this house, I would think I had stumbled into some fu@kin' unisex Monk convention. What the hell???!!! And why doesn't the baby get her own litle monk garb? Doesn't anyone care if she's cold and needs a Snuggie? Look at that smirk on the head male monk - I don't like it at all...and what the hell is he doing with his hands under that cassock/Snuggie?

10:27 p.m. - Monday, Dec. 08, 2008


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