beyondpanic's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So this is what 3:45 AM looks like
Yesterday's entry was funny - this one is pissed.
I tried wrting the letters to my son and (although I told him he didn't have to) I received no response.
When I had my mammo scare last week, Hub called Son and left him a message asking him to call me because I had a health scare. He didn't.
I called him twice yesterday and left a message that I wanted to talk to him. He didn't call me back.
I'm so fu@king pissed. Where the hell does he get off thinking that it's OK not to talk to his mother???? While he was growing up I always gave him unconditional love despite all of his teenage typical and sometimes not typical screw ups. I always forgave and forgot.
When the hell am I going to be able to move on and just accept that he doesn't want anything to do with me??? I reently found out that he has communicated with Hub in the last two months - Hub never told me because he knew it would upset me so much.
Damnit!!!!I'm the one who gave him the unconditional love - not his father! I'm the one who fixed all the problems and lent him the money and drove him back to school to get his homework and packed his lunches and washed his clothes and taught him to drive and made him Math flashcards and covered his books with brown paper bags and got him the tutors and mde him his first Halloween costume and loved him so much that I'm up at 3:45 in the morning writing this because I just can't sleep because of those unanswered phone calls.
3:38 a.m. - Tuesday, Feb. 17, 2009
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
