beyondpanic's diary

beyondpanic's Diaryland Diary

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Lenten Frustration

It’s Lent and the Catholic guilt is cranked up to an all-time high.

I haven’t been to Mass for a few weeks in a row – even though I vaguely remember bargaining with God over my mammogram results – something about promising to go to church every Sunday if he would make that spot on the right breast disappear. The spot was nothing – I haven’t been to church.

Then today is Ash Wednesday. I hate this day in the Catholic calendar. First of all, we are supposed to fast – we can have 2 “light” meals and one regular meal – no snacking. I blew that around 10:30 when I ate a Dove milk chocolate heart. I did eat a salad for lunch and tuna for dinner, so I’ve got the no-meat thing conquered, but my Hub just handed me a Zitner’s butter-krak egg and I can smell its chocolaty goodness through the cellophane.


Another reason for my dislike of Ash Wednesday is the whole in-your-face ritual of having the priest place ashes on your forehead in the shape of a cross…oh and by the way this is not my forehead!


I feel like imy forehead is aggressively shouting to innocent bystanders, “Yeah, I’m Catholic – you got a problem with that??” For this reason, I haven’t gotten ashes in the past few years.

I’m also pissed because Easter falls on my birthday this year and yes, I’m selfish enough to admit that I don’t want to share my special day with anyone – even if they are the Son of God. AND to top it all off, the group of people I hang out with from work always go out to a dance club the Friday before everyone’s birthday. Now, who the hell is going to want to do get drunk and go dirty dancing on Good Friday???? You are supposed to fast and spend the day in quiet contemplation, not grind up against one of your male co-workers while the band plays “I’m Bringing Sexy Back”.

I know, I’m gonna burn in hell…you don’t even have to tell me.

8:06 p.m. - Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2009
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