beyondpanic's diary

beyondpanic's Diaryland Diary

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Here's the Poop

Yes, ladies, the colonoscopy was a breeze; however the prep was HORRIBLE!

I do not understand how they can put a man on the moon, but they cannot come up with a more palatable way to prep for the procedure. So, here’s how it went.

Wednesday

1:00 PM – Take two stool softeners
9:30 PM - All shit breaks loose

Thursday
7:00 AM – Wake up and realize there is NO WAY that I can possible go to work.
2:00 PM - Take 4 stool softeners
4:00PM – Drink first 8 oz. glass of poison
4:15 PM – Drink 2nd 8 oz glass of poison
4:30 PM – Drink 3rd glass of poison
4:45 PM – Drink 4th glass of poison
5:00 PM – Drink 5th glass of poison
5:01 PM – Throw up glass of poison
5:30 PM – Drink 6th glass of poison
6:00 PM – Drink 7th glass of poison
6:30 PM – Shout aloud to an empty house, “I absolutely refuse to drink the last fu@king glass of that fu@king, thick, salty poison!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9:00 PM Poop
9:07 PM Poop
9:18 PM Poop
9:32 PM Poop
10:00 PM Poop
10:07 PM Don’t make it to the toilet on time and must take a shower.
10:40 PM Poop
10:42 PM Poop and start shaking uncontrollably
11:00 PM Take ½ xanax

Friday
Colonoscopy was scheduled for 11:00. I went in around 12:00 and was home by 2:30. It was a breeze, everything was normal and I don’t have to see that Dr. for 6 more years!

10:07 p.m. - Monday, Mar. 23, 2009
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