beyondpanic's Diaryland Diary
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Old Friends
Remember when I told you that the old boyfriend had asked me out to lunch for my birthday?
Well, I had nicely turned him down, but he has called me once or twice since then, �just to
talk�.
I just heard that his Mom died and now I don�t know if I should go to the funeral or not. I
definitely wouldn�t go to the viewing �cause his kids know who I am and that would be kind of
uncomfortable walking through the line to offer my condolences. Also, he ended up marrying my
best friend (they are now divorced) so I sure as hell would not want to run into her!
I could sneak into the funeral � our church is big enough that I could probably hide
somewhere in the back, and I know that he would know I was there. I�ve know him since I was 14
years old and I know he is devastated by his mother�s death.
It�s weird and it�s something I�ve never mentioned to my husband � so those of you who do know
me, I would ask that you not repeat what I am about to write here. I can walk into church on
Sunday and I will know without even looking around the church that he is at the same Mass that I
am at whether it�s 9:00 or 10:30 or 12:00 Mass.
I can drive down the street and I�ll know that he is going to be coming up the other way.
I know when he is around. Months can pass without me �feeling� this, and the next thing I
know, he�s where I am and I am aware of it for a few minutes before I actually see him.
I don�t know what to make of it �and I don�t plan to make anything of it, but I just had to
write it down.
I doubt that I�ll go, but I�ll feel bad about it.
17:18 - 2008-04-29
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